The Calculating Stars

"The floor of the cabin shuddered. At first I thought a heavy truck was rolling past, but we were in the middle of nowhere. The porcelain robin that sat on the bedside table danced along its surface and fell. You would think that, as a physicist, I would recognize an earthquake faster. But we were in the Poconos, which was geologically stable. Nathaniel didn't worry about that as much and grabbed my hand, pulling me into the doorway. The floor bucked and rolled under us. We clung to each other like in some sort of drunken foxtrot. The walls twisted and then ... then the whole place came down. I'm pretty sure that I hollered. When the earth stopped moving, the radio was still playing."

"'You ... had family?' God. Spare me from the kindness of strangers. I stared at the horizon, an amber haze over the Ohio plains. 'Yes. So—I need to go in to talk to the rabbi.' He nodded and slipped past me to hold the door. 'I, myself, am here for the same reason.' 'Oh—oh. I am so sorry.' I was such a self-centered schlub. I was hardly the only one with Jewish family in Charleston. And the damage to New York sounded extensive, and then D.C., and ... How many of us had died leaving no one behind to light the yahrzeit candles and recite the Kaddish prayer? His shrug was small and sad as he gestured me through the door. I stepped into the foyer. Through the open doors I could just make out the comforting light of the eternal flame hanging in front of the ark as a reminder. This man ... he must have escaped Germany, only to have this happen when he thought he was safe. And yet, he had survived. As had I. That's what we did. We survived. And we remembered."

"'Switching to manual.' The radio continued to crackle as he left the channel open. 'The view is ... wish you all could see this.' 'Roger, wish for seeing view confirmed.' Didn't we all wish for that? If he orbited successfully, that got us one step closer to a space station, which got us a step closer to the moon base. And then Mars, Venus, and the rest of the solar system. Helen gave me another sheet from the Teletype. I tracked Parker's position by shifts in Doppler frequency. The frequency of those waves showed the rocket's path over the Earth. I plugged the numbers into the string of calculations and then ran through it again, just to be sure. Turning in my seat, I lifted the page over my head. 'He made it! He's in orbit.'"

"In his office, Director Clemons bent over a stapled report, one of his cigars clamped between his teeth. Behind him, Parker scowled. 'Oh, please ... like that'll work.' I stopped in the door. 'I'm sorry. Am I early?' 'No, no ... come on in.' Clemons waved me into the room and I realized that there was another man here. Tall, and blond, he looked somewhat familiar, but in my shock, I couldn't place him. 'You know Lieutenant Parker. Have you met Wernher von Braun?'"

"'Liftoff. We have liftoff.' Beside me, Aunt Esther rose to her feet, hands clasped in front of her chest. The light of the rocket reflected off her bright eyes as if the fire of her soul were coming out to push the rocket into the sky. Then the sound hit us, a heavy rumble that you felt more than heard. The force of the waves beat against my chest. What must it be like to ride that sound and fury? I held my breath, praying for the rocket to keep going. The blaze of fire pushed it faster and higher into the air until it disappeared into the cloud cover and left us with just a traveling glow that faded back into the night. Aunt Esther turned to me and grasped both of my hands. 'Thank you.' 'For?' 'I never thought I would see such a thing. I didn't know why you'd want to be an astronaut, or even really what one was, but now...' She looked up to the clouds, where all trace of the rocket had vanished. 'You must.'"

"With each revolution of the bottle, the little white pills inside rattled and shifted. Their tiny clatter promised a blanket of soothing calm. 'I don't know what to do.' 'Do you think the pressure is going to get any lighter?' Sighing, I folded in on myself, and sagged against Nathaniel. He pulled me tight, pressing his lips against the top of my head. 'Here's what I think. You keep yourself healthy, and then we can deal with Parker. Together. I don't know how, but I know we can.' 'How can you be so sure?' 'Because we survived the end of the world.' He kissed me again. 'And you are my lady astronaut.'"